Monday, 1 August 2016. 5:32 p.m (GMT+7)
Good evening, friends. Right now, i have to restart my NoFap journey again. This is my Day 1, because i relapsed yesterday after fighting with lots of urges and withdrawal syndromes (about to write about it later on my next post).
For last several days, i have a problem with my friends surrounding me. It's not that i hate them. I love them. But, the problem is.. i have this feeling of being inferior. It's like, i feel like everyone right now hates me or maybe talks bad things around me. I feel like they don't want to be around me for a reason. I also have suicidal thoughts lately.
In the end, i feel like i am a very bad person for them. Even there is one person talked openly to me that she always puts negative thoughts on me. I think like maybe, she represented what some of them think about me.
I don't know what to do after that words. I tried to talk to everyone else right now. But, i can't. Seems like i have trust issues right now with everyone, even my parents. I also feel like i didn't get much support from everyone right now.
But, thankfully, i still get a few that wants to listen to what my lung wants to scream right now. And, one of them gave me such an amazing solution.
He said this,
"It's okay to make mistakes, it's a learning process. Don't be stressed and don't feel so inferior when you make it. I know some people will take you as a bad person if you don't make a good outcome. But, actually, you are not bad, you are just not prepared for it. So, one day, just be prepared for everything that may happen to you when you do something.
So, learn in a good way. Learn from the mistakes you do."
I feel like this is a really good advice. I still think i haven't learned much from any mistake i have done in the past. So, that's why i keep doing almost the same mistake. I have to decrease the chance for mistake right now, so one day i can be a better person.
And also, i just want to have my own motivation again. I just don't want to feel like inferior to all the friends i know. I also need to learn again from the mistakes i have done in my NoFap journey so i won't relapse again.... and again....
Please pray for me, my friends!
