So, today is 14 February! AND, TODAY IS VALENTINE'S DAY!!
YEAAAY!! YEAAY!! YEE........... (i am still single, :"""""( *cries)
Anyway, in my lovely country, there has been some controversies against Valentine's Day. Since, the majority of us are Muslim, and most people who celebrates Valentine's Day are Christian, or i think, it has something related with Christianity, i don't know actually, just feel free to correct me.
Even there is a movement called "I Am Muslim and I Say No To Valentine", which i think it's really bullshit and against the tolerance. As you know, Indonesia is a country which has lots of ethnics, races, and of course, cultures, and religions. We actually have 6 religions which are accepted by our government. And, of course, we live together in tolerance as we are already taught by our ideology.
Of course, i don't celebrate Valentine's Day, i am not against it, but i just think it doesn't make sense to celebrate it, one of the reason is because i am still single (i am not dating any girl, eventhough i almost, but yeah. ALMOST IS NEVER ENOUGH!!)
Let me give the better explanation, also from my own perspective.
Mostly, on Valentine's Day, people state their love and give some presents, mostly chocolate, flowers, or some pink objects. I just think that if people celebrate Valentine's Day just to give those things, i think, why should we wait for Valentine's Day, while we can even give them everyday? or at least we can just give them whenever you want!
You can even state your love to someone whenever you want, because LOVE IS A RACE!
So, one more time, i am not against Valentine's Day, but i am not going to celebrate Valentine's Day like what most people do, eventhough i remembered 2 years ago, i got a chocolate from a girl (she has dated with friend, though)
Happy Valentine's Day
Everyday the 14th!!
Anyway, Valentine's Day can also lead to some possible sexual relationships, just don't do unsafe sex, or at least, don't even visit porn if you are single!!
So, basically, i just want to do some food delivery today, and i just realized that i've been so much food lately these days. It even makes me feel some kind of way.. I mean, bad!
Yeah, i feel really afraid on my body image, because i don't want to get fatter because it is just dangerous for our health (you know, i am right now in obese image, and i want to get off that image, because obesity can lead you to some metabolic diseases)
So, i decided to check on my body weight, and EXACTLY!! I JUST GAINED SOME WEIGHTS!! My weight just increased for about 2 kgs, it is like 4 pounds or something. And of course, i feel bad about it!
I don't feel bad because i hate being fat people, but i just hate being unhealthy people. If i check on my BMI (body mass index), right now, i am in obese status, which has more risks to get some metabolic diseases, like diabetes, stroke, heart attack, or maybe CANCER! You all know that cancer is a really dangerous disease that can kill anyone! I already wrote this on my last posts (i guess)
Anyway, right now, i decided to evaluate on why i gained some weights!
First, i eat lots of snacks! And also eat lots of foods, i didn't eat healthy foods, i just ate some junk foods
Second, i seldom take physical activity, or maybe with less intensity
Third, i don't check my weight frequently (i used to check it everyday, but today, i even forgot to check it)
Anyway, tomorrow, i will be joining a seminar about how to get healthy, i just hope it will motivate me to be a better in life, and also to have 24 hours of better life!!
I am just thinking maybe i should get some laxatives or something, so i might probably go for some anorexia nervosa. But, yeah, i just want to look healthy! THAT'S IT!!
Finally, i have reached Day 4, and it's really crazy, i've got so many urges, but i can overcome it well. Right now, i finally have one of my good friends who will be joining my NoFap struggle and it's always good that we can support each other for better life.
Anyway, i haven't written for a really long time, because i really lack of inspiration, and also some concentrations to write, though. It's crazy, because i haven't felt any urge to write some stuff, and i just read about the Beyonce's Superbowl Performance that just got lots of controversies, like it was talking about Black Panther or something, about the Black Lives Matter movement, or something. I think, it came first from a young female anchor named Tomi Lahren, while criticizing Beyonce's performance as.. a protest against police, it's just a protest against police brutality, which is somehow crazy and i can also relate to this, since some of police officers in my country are also acting like they can't do.
You know, some of them just want money and promotion, or maybe.... women, it's not a secret anymore though, because in my country, there are lots of police officers do that thing (i just hope it will be decreasing).
Anyway, i am not in a good position to talk about that, but when i searched about Tomi Lahren on YouTube, i also found an interview of her with Pamela Geffer, that is commonly known as an "Islamophobia" or maybe, in the better way, we can say it as "a person who is against Jihadism", where they finally agree to combat Jihadism on what have some "Muslims" done in America (it even leads to Donald Trump's statement to ban any Muslim immigrants to enter USA, which doesn't make any sense) and also they also agree on combating Radical Islam.
(there is a YouTube video of the interview, and all the comments toward it are just bullshiting our religion)
So, i decided to visit Pamela Geller's blog about Muslim and i saw how biased her posts are about Muslim, most of them are relating about terrorism and some violence Muslims do to force them to convert to Muslim, and the bad thing is she wrote her posts under the tag "The Truth About Islam"
Okay, here is the truth about Islam!
First of all, Islam if you check for the etiological meaning, it is from the word "Salam", it means Peace. So, yeah, Islam itself means Peace. So, why are people bragging about Islam?
Because Islam supports terrorism? Islam forces people to convert to it? Islam promotes Violence? Islam is weird?? Islam has some radicals? Islam is not tolerant?
Friends, don't believe on some media says about Islam! We are actually a good people and we are taught to be it. We are against terrorism, we are against violence. Some of the people who did the violence, or we just say that as an extremist, or maybe radicals, they are not really learning our religion well. They just took some verses from the Qur'an, and yeah, they just took it, they don't learn deeper about the message contained on that verses.
Let's talk about ISIS! People really hate them, and so do we! ISIS is just a mockery for our religion. And, you just said that they are killing Non-Muslims? YOU ARE TOTALLY WRONG? They even killed lots of Muslim people in some Muslim countries, like Syria, or Palestine, or even my country! Really.. They just bombed one of our places a month ago.
And Islam also promotes tolerance! REALLY!! People are currently protesting on Islam as the most increasing religion in the world. But, i just think, because people also have a good time on knowing the message of Islam. It's not because they are forced to be a Muslim. We don't force them! If there is someone forcing you, i suggest you not to follow him. Because, for me, that person is not actually a real Muslim, he/she already got sins, for not respecting other religion.
Basically, it means that there is no forces to convert to Islam, really. Even, our Holy Qur'an told about that (you can ask me for the proof if you want). We are just told to spread the value of Islam in a good and peaceful way, not by committing violence or bombing. Because, we see all people not from their religions, we only see them from their characters, or maybe their looks (just kidding!), but as long as you are a good and respectful person, you are good for us! We are not going to bomb you or shoot you.
So, basically, that's the simple truth about Islam. I just hoped Islamophobia don't exist again in every country, especially in USA (since i heard Ben Carson and Donald Trump have negative thoughts on Islam, it means we are afraid of what will happen this year if both of them become president of USA, and how the relationship will go within USA and my country), or France, or Australia, or everywhere.
So, as a Muslim, i want to ask for forgiveness for everything ISIS or some "radical Muslims" do to your country! They are actually a big mockery and false representative for us, they just take verses from Holy Qur'an and don't digest it well. We are Religion of Peace..
I see all of you guys based on your character, not your religion or what you believed in. I hope you see the same from me.
Feel free to contact me through Twitter, and Facebook, i will try to answer it the best, or you can just search about it if you want :)
God Bless You, guys! And have a great time!
PS : This is a video on what some people say about Islam, most of them are good statements...
If you're reading this, i just relapsed several hours ago, this is my Day 1 anyway.. still struggling for it, but, i also found another new tactics to beat this Porn Addiction, it's crazy, because after that relapse, i can't really get back up from the "pain" of relapse.
I really want to succeed during the struggle, so far, my best record was 45 days. There are lots of urges coming at me, and i can't really let it go.
But, as i told you earlier, i just got another new tactics. I will tell you in the next post, that will be coming hours later! or maybe, minutes later! Because right now, i am sitting inside internet cafe.. and getting my inspiration on.
LET'S DO THIS!!!
Anyway, i changed my format, because i want to target for 100 days! Pray for me!
Lately, i've been feeling a little bit of unmotivated to write something. I finally got my motivation on. I used to find some inspirations from some movies, or maybe videos, not only news of course.
And, yesterday, i just finished watching a good movie, it's titled Creed. If some of you didn't know, it's actually kind of a spinoff from a famous boxing movie, Rocky. The storyline is taken several years later, i think, in the Rocky IV, it was found that Rocky's long-time mentor and rival, Apollo Creed died after some terrible boxing accidents, he was beaten fatally by Ivan Drago on an exhibition match (Damn!)
Several years later, it was found out that Apollo Creed has a biological son, named Adonis. He also had a good talent in boxing while before working in a good company. Adonis decided to quit the job and pursue his talent in boxing, continuing his biological father's legacy. He also met Rocky (also starred by Sylvester Stallone) and asked whether he could train for Rocky, and he accepted it knowing that Adonis is his mentor's son.
After several training and exercises, Adonis finally had a chance to join the boxing match, and he won the match, and caught people's attention, especially about his relationship with Apollo Creed. It also caught the attention from the World Champion, "Pretty" Ricky Conlan, it finally ended in the championship match between both of them. The media and people already underestimated Adonis, thinking that he is just a spitting image of his father, and also a mistake, since he also hadn't met his father.. all his life
The underestimation also continued during the awaited match, people predicted that Adonis will last less than 12 rounds, or get knocked out by Conlan. This is where the good thing happens, Adonis really struggled so much, trained harder and harder to win. At that match, Adonis traded lots of punches with Conlan, and the spectators started to give respect for Adonis. And in the 11th round, Adonis fell after receiving heavy punch from Conlan, but, it didn't turn out well for the Champion because Adonis decided not to give up, and even he still wanted to continue for 12th round and said this
"I just want to prove them that i'm not a mistake"
These words are so good, it even made Rocky saluted him so much, even gave him some motivations to fight against his cancer.
So, the last round is still on, and it is a BIG SURPRISE!! By all the hard work, finally he made Conlan fell down! But, Conlan still stood up and he declared the winner and still remained his championship belt.
Yeah, Ricky Conlan wins the fight, but really, Adonis Creed wins the night for not giving up and still doing his best and making a really sensational performance! Adonis even got saluted by Conlan for his incredible performance
This movie teaches us that during every struggle, we don't need to give up easily from many obstacles. We should face it, in the best way we can, whatever we lose or we win, they will appreciate what you've done and maybe, they salute you. I also will use this message during my NoFap struggle, because i think, for this effort, i may have lots of obstacles, or we can just say as "urges". I got so many urges on my 5 days struggle, i still make my best to overcome it. The urges may be getting bigger and bigger, so did Adonis, he will see bigger obstacles after that.
I really like this movie, i think it should have been nominated for Oscars 2016 (you know, the nominations are so controversial, #OscarsSoWhite), it is also a really good spinoff for Rocky. I also found out that the man who played Ricky Conlan in this movie is also a professional boxer, lol!
But, yeah, watch this movie and get motivated, for 24 hours of better life!
Hello guys! I'm about to pass my second day of free PMO! Lately, i have been feeling lots of urges today. I really can't get over it, it's even hard for me to take a nap today, but THANKS GOD!! I managed to save from my heavy urge. So, yeah, the struggle is still on!
Anyway, right now, i started to use this blog and maybe, my other blog (it's in Indonesian, though) to deliver my message on porn addiction, because i think, i just find my new future dream, which is to be a writer! I really want to share my experience on overcoming porn addiction, my friend suggested me to use my writing for some bigger media. I just actually registered myself as a writer in Fight The New Drug, you can visit them here, i hope i got accepted to write for that site.
I also decided to start writing for my Indonesian blog, and also in Indonesian language, because i think that, to start making influences, you need to really start from the small thing, yeah, i mean, start from my country, or maybe my city. Because, i know, there are lots of porn addicts out there in my country, as we can see eventhough the access to pornography sites is blocked, they can still access porn from so many ways. Even we can still access porn sites on Internet cafe, or even there are some twitter accounts to share some sexy model photos, or share some adult video links.
And, not only that, in my university, there is also a graduation paper discussing about the study case of people who watches Japan Adult Video (JAV), that porn genre is actually kind of big in my country, since we also like Japan culture (i just like the music and drama, though, but i still want to go there).
I also wish one day i will start creating an organization to inform Indonesian people about the danger of porn addiction, i know it will gain some attacks from some man's magazines (anyway, we have lots, but most are distributed on the Internet), yeah, because we know that porn is right now a new drug, there is no specific place or room for porn addict to rehabilitate in my country, and i want to be the first one to make it.. I wish one day.
Let's just say, i haven't completely finished my Day 1 yet. But, yeah, i just want to put this as my Day 1 post though, since i just think, I WILL FINISH MY DAY 1. I feel really optimistic on it, i just re-download my application i used when i reached 45 DAY STREAK!!
Anyway, today, i decided to read a book i bought for about 1-2 months ago (i guess), it's actually called "99 Inspirasi Petang untuk Setiap Muslim", or you can just translate it as "99 Evening Inspiration for A Muslim", but actually, it's not only for Muslim, i think, some other religions can use the message from these books as well, because i think, we can get the message logically.
One of the pages i read is about the disease and how it relates with our soul, i am also writing this to commemorate World Cancer Day. Since Cancer has become a really dangerous disease for everyone, and people are really afraid to get that. There are lots of famous people who died after battling with cancer, like Steve Jobs, or more recently, the legendary musician, David Bowie. We also know that cancer is actually caused by something might be wrong with our immune system.
It's not even something new anymore that there are some medical complaints that are mainly caused by our psychologic condition, this is called as "psychosomatic disease", like joint pain, muscle cramps, abdominal cramps, or even hypertension, or headache. Even the doctor in my country can't access them well, it kinda sucks, because psychosomatic disease is actually the most disease that is often consulted in our primary health care (note for me!)
Anyway, what is the relation with our soul and cancer?
Let's be real honest. Some medical researches have shown a correlation within our soul condition and immune system. When we get angry, our immune system might be depressed, so that's why we can easily catch some diseases just because we get angry or maybe we get depressed over something. or maybe even if we have bad characters, such as being apathic, negative thinking, or always feel lonely. This can possibly lead you to some chronic diseases, like diabetes, heart disease, hepatitis, or even cancer. So, yeah, keep your feeling and thinking positive!!
And of course, i can really relate this to my NoFap struggle, because porn addiction can sometimes cause you stress (especially after you relapsed), feel guilty, apathic, negative thinking, easily sensitive. It also can decrease your immune system as well, so i can just say that porn addiction can indirectly lead you to cancer. I say it, INDIRECT!!! NOT DIRECT!!!
So, yeah, watch out! Maintain your soul condition, not only your physical condition, because disease can also come from the soul, not just the body!!
Have a good struggle and let's fight together for the 24 hours of better life!!
Day 0. Anyway, i just relapsed (again). and as what i have promised before, i decided to reveal about my addiction. But, anyway, i didn't reveal it on my Facebook, i decided to reveal that on Twitter instead, i still reveal on Facebook, but, by private message to some of my best friends.
"I SWEAR TO GOD...I WILL NEVER RELAPSE ANYMORE!!! TODAY WILL BE MY LAST RELAPSE!! IF I RELAPSE, I WILL TELL OPENLY ABOUT MY PORN ADDICTION ON FACEBOOK!!"
You can read my post here, but it's in Indonesian..
I still have kind of traumatic feeling, because of what just happened several years ago, when i asked my friend for help to quit my porn addiction. I told it to some of them, but unfortunately, it was spread throughout the school, and some of my friends called me "hypersex".
But, for right now, i revealed it for several reasons. One of them is i am not afraid right now for whatever risks it may take! I know, some people will probably hate me because i have this kind of addiction, but for me, i don't really care that much. Because, i know,it's better to be hated for telling the truth rather than to be loved for telling the lies. Sometimes, we know that truth may hurt you, but it's just a temporary pain, as long as i still struggle and thrive for my best, i will get out of it, and they even start to forget it.
Right now, i decided to start writing again in the last format i used to have when i reached 45 days of quitting. I know, it will be a really long and strong journey, but i know, one day, i will have my biggest smile if i succeed, i can see the possible advantage. I also feel sick today, so i guess, GOD has already deleted my sins, or let's just say, it's kind of a punishment to what i have done in the past, so i just want to see the bright side.
I also installed applications that i always use during my NoFap struggle, because i know, it's gonna worth in the end. I decided to do counting days again because i think it's the best method for me.
