DAY 2 : PORN MADE ME DO IT!

15 October 2015, 00:18 a.m (GMT+7)

DAY 2

In this Day 2 writing, i want to start telling you guys my story of porn addiction. I mean, i want to tell you guys the things that really happened to me since i got addicted to porn. Here are the things that have happened to me!

1. I am called "stupid", or maybe not stupid. The last time i did the full IQ test was in 2012, when i have to determine my next step, i mean, where i am gonna go for the university. And, you know what, i just found out that my IQ is actually 103. It's really bad because almost lots of my friends got higher score than me. Of course, i blamed my porn addiction for making these things happen. Because, there are several research saying that porn viewing can decrease your IQ

2. I often put bad decision, or if not, bad judgement. One thing that i really remember is about 3 weeks ago. I did a really stupid job, that ended up getting my coat burned. It's actually hard to tell in English about how that happened. But, yeah, in a easier way, i didn't think before doing something. I just really have quick action without thinking

3. I am always easy to say something out, and it turns out bad. I am not actually a big mouth (i mean, a gossip boy), but sometimes, i can say something that can hurt people. I just remembered how i get kicked from my batch LINE group (LINE is a messenger application, if you guys don't know), just by saying something stupid. And, it all happens because of my bad judgement. For those of you guys, there is also a scientific research showing that porn addiction can decrease your prefrontal cortex ability. Prefrontal cortex is an area of the brain that has the function of judgement

4. My grades are decreasing! Yeah, this 3rd year has been a bad year for me, because i underperformed. 3rd year of college is also one of the peak of me to consume pornography. But, in the end of the 3rd year (which is on the Summer 2015), i decided to be serious on the Porn Quit. And, thanks to the remediation (i mean, fixing up some grades), my grade is back increasing again. But, yeah, that was bad.

5. I lost some good friendship. It all happens because of some factors, because of my bad judgement, and also people still think porn addiction is a bad thing. Some of my friends (in high school) who introduced me to porn also hates me or even makes fun of me for being "hyper-sex" or whatever else. But, right now, i am now on the right track to get more and more good friendship again, and also build some respects from my friend.

6. I failed on getting girlfriend. This is also a sad story. Last year, i approached a girl, in my opinion, she is perfect for me, i like her personality eventhough maybe she is not as beautiful as Taylor Swift or whatever. But, for me, she is like a wife material. And, when it comes to D-Day to state my love to her, she was already TAKEN!! AND, IT HAPPENED FOR ME TWO TIMES!! Right now, i am still thinking about that girl, and i still wished one day, i could marry her, or maybe the girl who has the same personality as her in the future. Amen.

Actually, i still have lots of thing to write. One of them is i almost have suicidal thoughts, just because of all that stuff. But, THANK GOD, i still have some good friends who still can motivate me and still takes me positively, eventhough i already have lots of negative stuff coming towards me.

And, for that every bad things that happened throughout my porn addiction period.
I just realized that PORN MADE ME DO IT...

PORN MADE ME RECEIVED ALL THOSE BULLSHITS
PORN MADE ME DID EVERY BAD THINGS THAT IS STUPID

PORN MADE ME DO IT, and IT'S REALLY AWFUL..
AND OF COURSE, I WANT TO QUIT, SO MY LIFE GONNA BE BEAUTIFUL