DAY 6
Actually, i just know that the journey to quit Porn is mostly called as "NoFap Challenge", so yeah, i've been joining NoFap challenge for 6 days, it means this is my Day 6. To support that, i've engaged myself to so many groups related to NoFap. I have joined 2 WhatsApp groups related to NoFap, 1 kik group (i actually downloaded kik just to join the group, lol!), and 2 Facebook groups.
During those social media groups, i have gained so many friends worldwide (none of them from my country, and i feel really sad). And, on this Day 6, most of the conversations are about RELAPSES!!
In a Whatsapp group called "No Fapperz", there are 3 members that just relapsed on the same day and 1 member relapsed yesterday. And, on a kik group called "Battle Goal", people also talked about relapse.
Honestly, that makes me really worried about another possible relapse, since in these last 3 days, i have got some urges due to some stress (physical and emotional), i even had a dream on having wetdream (not due to porn, of course) yesterday (Thanks God it's not real, though).
You know, i have been 6 days struggling for this NoFap thing. And, some people remind me when you have reached 10-20 days, you are going to get some big tests that will end yourself getting relapse again. So, i decided to take a look back on how i relapsed and why i relapsed (mistake is the best teacher!).
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| source : twk92.wordpress.com |
So, in this post, i want to talk about the story of what actually happened during my past relapses!
1. My latest relapse!! (i remember the day because i wrote it here, and that made me start writing daily). It happened because i peeked on porn video, i did it because i feel sleepy at all, and i just hoped that after listening to some stimulus, i will be awake again.
But, in the end, i just keep searching for porn video, and BAM! I RELAPSED AT THAT TIME!! I even feel stressed that i kicked myself out from "No Fapperz" group in Whatsapp.
2. Relapse after the bad exam! (around 8 October). It happened because i just didn't score well at my exam, i was on Day 10 or 11, and i feel stressed. I can't even resist myself for watching porn, because i feel really spiritless. Even, after my friend in college motivated me, i still feel down (until now actually, but not really) at that time,
So i decided to reduce my stress after watching porn. But, this time, i just feel not concentrated at all, and keep watching the whole day (i relapsed at noon, and i even keep searching at evening).
3. Relapse after big stress! (around 19 September). This could be my longest streak, since... i actually don't know (maybe February this year). I was on Day 18-19 for NoFap. At least, this is my longest streak during my NoFap journey (i joined this NoFap journey since August this year).
Actually, 3 days before (16 Sept), i have just finished and passed my thesis examination (or maybe, graduating paper). And, day after that test, i feel really stressed for no reason, feel depressed for no reason, or feel spiritless at all. And, it all summed up with feeling lonely and uncontrolled, so i decided to "peek" again on something that makes me happy. And, yeah, as you know, i ended up finding porn materials. And, of course, I RELAPSED!
4. Relapse due to feeling lonely (1 September). This is actually crazy, because it happened on the day where i just went to college for 1-2 hours. And, i just peeked on audio sex (like phone sex recording or something). Yeah, i RELAPSED OF COURSE!! At that time, i really felt lonely, and had nothing to do
5. Relapse after a stressing exam (4 August). At that day, i just finished an examination. Really, it's unpredictable! It's not hard anyway, but the pressure i had from the examiners made the examination really hard! I even feel stressed after the exam. I was on Day 13 at that time, and i feel stressed. I feel lonely, and i think, if i watched porn video, it will make me better. So, yeah, I RELAPSED
6. Relapse on November 2014. I actually decided to stay abstinence because i registered as a Lab Assistant (it's really prestigious job for college student), so i have to take a test but 1 day before the test announcements. My laptop has just got broken. And, i feel really stressed, so of course, BAM! RELAPSE!!
And, from those relapses. I found that after you relapsed, you will find it hard to get back up. It means that you will need lots of days to start NoFap struggle again. I also felt the same on my latest relapse. I need about 4-5 days to be really serious on starting NoFap again.
Moral of those stories are... While you are on NoFap struggle, or let's say, having abstinence on PMO. Physical and emotional stress will come to you at anytime, it will cause you to have urge that will make you relapsed. So, all you have to do are:
1. STAY POSITIVE!
2. If you are alone in your home, GET OUT FROM YOUR HOME, GO SOMEWHERE YOU WANT! (and realize, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! GOD IS WATCHING YOU!)
3. Less Internet consumption, if you need, just go and find some interesting videos (or maybe Funny) (i did it and it was proven well, read it here!), or maybe read some nice articles
4. Have a cold shower, because it can increase your immunity, decrease your stress, and also decrease your fat, and of course, decrease your urge
5. When you have urge, tell some of your friends, so they can motivate you
6. If you are using VPN application, GO AND DELETE IT!
7. NEVER HAVE ANY INTENTION TO PEEK ON SOME PORN-RELATED MEDIA!
AND OF COURSE!! YOU GON' BE ALRIGHT!!
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| source : Kendrick Lamar - Alright (Official Music Video) screenshot |
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