Words Does Hurt

25 May 2016, 7;48 p.m (GMT+7)

Day 0

So, while finding some writing inspirations on Facebook, i found this awesome post about words from my writing friend.

Here is the post --> Words

Let me tell you before, i am not a Christian, but i can really relate on this post, and i really remembered an unsatisfactory experience (we do know, experience is the best teacher) because maybe several weeks ago (i forgot the exact date, i just want to forget it anyway), i have a problem with someone, just because of using a naughty words. I know i used it as a joke, but the reaction seems not. And, i did it to a girl that i had a crush on. DAMN! Let's say her name is Linda (not a real name).

And that moment happened when i relapsed on this Porn Addiction.

Yeah, actually, there is a random post sharing a picture of a cute and beautiful female artist. And i saw Linda commenting like this, "OOH MY GIRL!", like a form of admiration. And then, you all know, i just get messed up that day, so i commented with an explicit word (it's really bad that i feel really regretful if i have to rewind that moment again, the word starts with the letter L, the second one is E). I actually used that word as a joke.

But, yup, that joke went too far. She really hated me, i know maybe she felt bad, she even started posting some series of tweets aiming at me, like saying

"YOU MAY BE GENIUS, BUT IF YOU HAVE BAD ATTITUDE, YOU ARE NOTHING"
(i actually forgot what she tweeted actually, she just locked her twitter account, so i don't have access anymore by the time i wrote this)

Yeah, i already make her hate me right now. Maybe, i think, if i could met her at that time, she could probably feel really heartbroken and just getting enraged at me. Or, maybe, she might throw some heavy objects or maybe sharp objects wishing to see me dead.

The worse thing is i almost think of calling her a "B-word" or "S-word" (you know, word that starts with a letter B and S that is really inappropriate if you say to every women in the world. EXCEPT, if you are working in industries related to sex or pornography)

I already felt bad about myself after that. I could have said something better, but i just did something really really wrong. Our relationship is really over, she blocked me on social media, and maybe right now, she started to take me as a really bad person. Even when i did something good right now, she might stereotype me as a bad one. 

We all know, people can forgive but people will never forget, as long as they still have brains. They are always connected to every significant memories they have.

I also lost some of my friends due to WORDS.

WORDS ARE REALLY SHARP. YUP, REAL SHARP!

This event really proved that Words are even harder than Swords right now. So, let's just start with all positive words right now. If you are still on social media, think before you post. People have different approach on your words. Maybe, they are fine with your joke, but not all. Some of them may take it seriously, and report to the police for violating the rules. In Indonesia, post that has a mocking tone could probably end up in a jail. 

THERE ARE LOTS OF CASES ABOUT BEING PRISONED DUE TO A SOCIAL MEDIA POST. I MEAN IT, A LOT!

YEAH, Words are really like Swords. It is good if you use it in a good way, like cutting something. But, it can harm everyone even yourself if you use it vice versa. 

Use your empathy

Tongue does have no bone, it's an Indonesian famous proverb. It's not gonna be useful or harmful by itself, you are the one who decides it.

GOOD EVENING EVERYONE!

ABOUT TO START YOUTUBE!

18 March 2016, 8:46 p.m (GMT+7)

So, lately, i've been getting bored all the time, yeah, my academic session actually just ended, but i have to wait for a test that will be done on middle of April, and the test is actually a remediation of one test that i failed, it's actually a skill test though, so i just need to learn about the procedure, and practice it and yeah, still getting bored.

Lately, i've been trying myself to do some writings but i ended up getting writer's block, eventhough in the last 2 weeks, i just made a buzz by making my 2 writings about hip-hop become "HEADLINE ARTICLE" in a larger site, called Kompasiana. It's actually a blogging site, free for everyone to access and write in that site. And, seriously, i made 2 HEADLINES!! My writings have become discussion from everyone inside Indonesian hip-hop scene. Even after those writings, my Facebook just got more friend requests from rappers or at least, some hip-hop fans. It's good for me but sometimes, it kinda gives me more pressure to write something better. So, i started to do a review writings for some hip-hop songs that newly drop. I need to increase my ability in hip-hop, since people right now think that i am already "mastering" in hip-hop, but honestly, i have never dropped anything related to hip-hop. Songs, Lyrics, Beats, or whatever the components..

Yeah, as you know that boredom and stress gave you more urges, so 2-3 days ago, i just relapsed due to my disability to handle that. Since that relapse, i started to get my writer's block BACK!! I really don't know what to write or at least, how to start my writing, it's bad!!

And right now, i just think of anything else to motivate me on staying productive! AND YEAH!! I JUST GOT AN IDEA.. I WILL START MAKING YOUTUBE VIDEOS, or at least, VLOGS!! I will be sharing what my YouTube channel is about.

So, wait for it, folks!

5/100 : ME ON VALENTINE'S DAY

14 February 2015, 8:30 p.m (GMT+7)

Day 5 of 100

So, today is 14 February! AND, TODAY IS VALENTINE'S DAY!!

YEAAAY!! YEAAY!! YEE........... (i am still single, :"""""( *cries)

Anyway, in my lovely country, there has been some controversies against Valentine's Day. Since, the majority of us are Muslim, and most people who celebrates Valentine's Day are Christian, or i think, it has something related with Christianity, i don't know actually, just feel free to correct me.

Even there is a movement called "I Am Muslim and I Say No To Valentine", which i think it's really bullshit and against the tolerance. As you know, Indonesia is a country which has lots of ethnics, races, and of course, cultures, and religions. We actually have 6 religions which are accepted by our government. And, of course, we live together in tolerance as we are already taught by our ideology.

Of course, i don't celebrate Valentine's Day, i am not against it, but i just think it doesn't make sense to celebrate it, one of the reason is because i am still single (i am not dating any girl, eventhough i almost, but yeah. ALMOST IS NEVER ENOUGH!!)

Let me give the better explanation, also from my own perspective.

Mostly, on Valentine's Day, people state their love and give some presents, mostly chocolate, flowers, or some pink objects. I just think that if people celebrate Valentine's Day just to give those things, i think, why should we wait for Valentine's Day, while we can even give them everyday? or at least we can just give them whenever you want!

You can even state your love to someone whenever you want, because LOVE IS A RACE!

So, one more time, i am not against Valentine's Day, but i am not going to celebrate Valentine's Day like what most people do, eventhough i remembered 2 years ago, i got a chocolate from a girl (she has dated with friend, though)

Happy Valentine's Day
Everyday the 14th!!

Anyway, Valentine's Day can also lead to some possible sexual relationships, just don't do unsafe sex, or at least, don't even visit porn if you are single!!

4/100 : GAINING SOME WEIGHTS! (+Evaluation

13 February 2016, 8:28 p.m (GMT+7)

Day 4

So, basically, i just want to do some food delivery today, and i just realized that i've been so much food lately these days. It even makes me feel some kind of way.. I mean, bad!

Yeah,  i feel really afraid on my body image, because i don't want to get fatter because it is just dangerous for our health (you know, i am right now in obese image, and i want to get off that image, because obesity can lead you to some metabolic diseases)

So, i decided to check on my body weight, and EXACTLY!! I JUST GAINED SOME WEIGHTS!! My weight just increased for about 2 kgs, it is like 4 pounds or something. And of course, i feel bad about it!

I don't feel bad because i hate being fat people, but i just hate being unhealthy people. If i check on my BMI (body mass index), right now, i am in obese status, which has more risks to get some metabolic diseases, like diabetes, stroke, heart attack, or maybe CANCER! You all know that cancer is a really dangerous disease that can kill anyone! I already wrote this on my last posts (i guess)

Anyway, right now, i decided to evaluate on why i gained some weights!

First, i eat lots of snacks! And also eat lots of foods, i didn't eat healthy foods, i just ate some junk foods

Second, i seldom take physical activity, or maybe with less intensity

Third, i don't check my weight frequently (i used to check it everyday, but today, i even forgot to check it)

Anyway, tomorrow, i will be joining a seminar about how to get healthy, i just hope it will motivate me to be a better in life, and also to have 24 hours of better life!!

I am just thinking maybe i should get some laxatives or something, so i might probably go for some anorexia nervosa. But, yeah, i just want to look healthy! THAT'S IT!!

4/100 : THE TRUTH ABOUT ISLAM

13 February 2016, 8:41 a.m (GMT+7)

Day 4

Finally, i have reached Day 4, and it's really crazy, i've got so many urges, but i can overcome it well. Right now, i finally have one of my good friends who will be joining my NoFap struggle and it's always good that we can support each other for better life.

Anyway, i haven't written for a really long time, because i really lack of inspiration, and also some concentrations to write, though. It's crazy, because i haven't felt any urge to write some stuff, and i just read about the Beyonce's Superbowl Performance that just got lots of controversies, like it was talking about Black Panther or something, about the Black Lives Matter movement, or something. I think, it came first from a young female anchor named Tomi Lahren, while criticizing Beyonce's performance as.. a protest against police, it's just a protest against police brutality, which is somehow crazy and i can also relate to this, since some of police officers in my country are also acting like they can't do.

You know, some of them just want money and promotion, or maybe.... women, it's not a secret anymore though, because in my country, there are lots of police officers do that thing (i just hope it will be decreasing).

Anyway, i am not in a good position to talk about that, but when i searched about Tomi Lahren on YouTube, i also found an interview of her with Pamela Geffer, that is commonly known as an "Islamophobia" or maybe, in the better way, we can say it as "a person who is against Jihadism", where they finally agree to combat Jihadism on what have some "Muslims" done in America (it even leads to Donald Trump's statement to ban any Muslim immigrants to enter USA, which doesn't make any sense) and also they also agree on combating Radical Islam.

(there is a YouTube video of the interview, and all the comments toward it are just bullshiting our religion)

So, i decided to visit Pamela Geller's blog about Muslim and i saw how biased her posts are about Muslim, most of them are relating about terrorism and some violence Muslims do to force them to convert to Muslim, and the bad thing is she wrote her posts under the tag "The Truth About Islam"

Okay, here is the truth about Islam!

First of all, Islam if you check for the etiological meaning, it is from the word "Salam", it means Peace. So, yeah, Islam itself means Peace. So, why are people bragging about Islam?

Because Islam supports terrorism? Islam forces people to convert to it? Islam promotes Violence? Islam is weird?? Islam has some radicals? Islam is not tolerant?

Friends, don't believe on some media says about Islam! We are actually a good people and we are taught to be it. We are against terrorism, we are against violence. Some of the people who did the violence, or we just say that as an extremist, or maybe radicals, they are not really learning our religion well. They just took some verses from the Qur'an, and yeah, they just took it, they don't learn deeper about the message contained on that verses.

Let's talk about ISIS! People really hate them, and so do we! ISIS is just a mockery for our religion. And, you just said that they are killing Non-Muslims? YOU ARE TOTALLY WRONG? They even killed lots of Muslim people in some Muslim countries, like Syria, or Palestine, or even my country! Really.. They just bombed one of our places a month ago.

Here is the link!
ISIS claims responsibility for Jakarta gun and bomb attacks (January 2016)
or maybe this video!

And Islam also promotes tolerance! REALLY!! People are currently protesting on Islam as the most increasing religion in the world. But, i just think, because people also have a good time on knowing the message of Islam. It's not because they are forced to be a Muslim. We don't force them! If there is someone forcing you, i suggest you not to follow him. Because, for me, that person is not actually a real Muslim, he/she already got sins, for not respecting other religion.

Basically, it means that there is no forces to convert to Islam, really. Even, our Holy Qur'an told about that (you can ask me for the proof if you want). We are just told to spread the value of Islam in a good and peaceful way, not by committing violence or bombing. Because, we see all people not from their religions, we only see them from their characters, or maybe their looks (just kidding!), but as long as you are a good and respectful person, you are good for us! We are not going to bomb you or shoot you.

So, basically, that's the simple truth about Islam. I just hoped Islamophobia don't exist again in every country, especially in USA (since i heard Ben Carson and Donald Trump have negative thoughts on Islam, it means we are afraid of what will happen this year if both of them become president of USA, and how the relationship will go within USA and my country), or France, or Australia, or everywhere. 

So, as a Muslim, i want to ask for forgiveness for everything ISIS or some "radical Muslims" do to your country! They are actually a big mockery and false representative for us, they just take verses from Holy Qur'an and don't digest it well. We are Religion of Peace..

I see all of you guys based on your character, not your religion or what you believed in. I hope you see the same from me.

Feel free to contact me through Twitter, and Facebook, i will try to answer it the best, or you can just search about it if you want :)

God Bless You, guys! And have a great time!

PS : This is a video on what some people say about Islam, most of them are good statements... 

0/100 : NEW FORMAT!

10 February 2016, 1:30 p.m (GMT+7)

0/100

If you're reading this, i just relapsed several hours ago, this is my Day 1 anyway.. still struggling for it, but, i also found another new tactics to beat this Porn Addiction, it's crazy, because after that relapse, i can't really get back up from the "pain" of relapse.

I really want to succeed during the struggle, so far, my best record was 45 days. There are lots of urges coming at me, and i can't really let it go.

But, as i told you earlier, i just got another new tactics. I will tell you in the next post, that will be coming hours later! or maybe, minutes later! Because right now, i am sitting inside internet cafe.. and getting my inspiration on.

LET'S DO THIS!!!

Anyway, i changed my format, because i want to target for 100 days! Pray for me!

DAY 5 : LEARNING FROM CREED

8 February 2016, 7:52 p.m (GMT+7)

Day 5

Lately, i've been feeling a little bit of unmotivated to write something. I finally got my motivation on. I used to find some inspirations from some movies, or maybe videos, not only news of course.

And, yesterday, i just finished watching a good movie, it's titled Creed. If some of you didn't know, it's actually kind of a spinoff from a famous boxing movie, Rocky. The storyline is taken several years later, i think, in the Rocky IV, it was found that Rocky's long-time mentor and rival, Apollo Creed died after some terrible boxing accidents, he was beaten fatally by Ivan Drago on an exhibition match (Damn!)

Several years later, it was found out that Apollo Creed has a biological son, named Adonis. He also had a good talent in boxing while before working in a good company. Adonis decided to quit the job and pursue his talent in boxing, continuing his biological father's legacy. He also met Rocky (also starred by Sylvester Stallone) and asked whether he could train for Rocky, and he accepted it knowing that Adonis is his mentor's son.

After several training and exercises, Adonis finally had a chance to join the boxing match, and he won the match, and caught people's attention, especially about his relationship with Apollo Creed. It also caught the attention from the World Champion, "Pretty" Ricky Conlan, it finally ended in the championship match between both of them. The media and people already underestimated Adonis, thinking that he is just a spitting image of his father, and also a mistake, since he also hadn't met his father.. all his life

The underestimation also continued during the awaited match, people predicted that Adonis will last less than 12 rounds, or get knocked out by Conlan. This is where the good thing happens, Adonis really struggled so much, trained harder and harder to win. At that match, Adonis traded lots of punches with Conlan, and the spectators started to give respect for Adonis. And in the 11th round, Adonis fell after receiving heavy punch from Conlan, but, it didn't turn out well for the Champion because Adonis decided not to give up, and even he still wanted to continue for 12th round and said this

"I just want to prove them that i'm not a mistake"

These words are so good, it even made Rocky saluted him so much, even gave him some motivations to fight against his cancer.

So, the last round is still on, and it is a BIG SURPRISE!! By all the hard work, finally he made Conlan fell down! But, Conlan still stood up and he declared the winner and still remained his championship belt.

Yeah, Ricky Conlan wins the fight, but really, Adonis Creed wins the night for not giving up and still doing his best and making a really sensational performance! Adonis even got saluted by Conlan for his incredible performance

This movie teaches us that during every struggle, we don't need to give up easily from many obstacles. We should face it, in the best way we can, whatever we lose or we win, they will appreciate what you've done and maybe, they salute you.

I also will use this message during my NoFap struggle, because i think, for this effort, i may have lots of obstacles, or we can just say as "urges". I got so many urges  on my 5 days struggle, i still make my best to overcome it. The urges may be getting bigger and bigger, so did Adonis, he will see bigger obstacles after that.

I really like this movie, i think it should have been nominated for Oscars 2016 (you know, the nominations are so controversial, #OscarsSoWhite), it is also a really good spinoff for Rocky. I also found out that the man who played Ricky Conlan in this movie is also a professional boxer, lol!

But, yeah, watch this movie and get motivated, for 24 hours of better life!