DAY 24 : TRUE LOVE NEVER FAILS

6 November 2015 10:35 p.m (GMT+7)

Day 24 (still strong!)

Yesterday, i just have a chat with my close female friend talking about love, actually we talked not a lot, but i don't know why we suddenly talk about it. She already had a boyfriend though (maybe!). I also talked to her about my "friendzone" case. If you don't understand what i am talking about, check it right here! At that time, she said this.

"Keep running for her until you are tired, true love never fails".

I was just thinking that it's true, but i still think if actually my love to her (someone who i just confessed days ago) is kind of true love or not. I don't know, so i just decided to do some browsing about it.

And, i found a good explanation by a psychologist named Robert Stenberg. He defined that there are about 3 phases of true love.

PHASE 1 : Passion 
This phase is actually kind of physical and sexual attraction. People called it "love at first sight". You started to get attracted on someone, pheromones are around you, chemistry and electricity in your brain started to do some random things, and of course, you really want to have your feelings reciprocated (i mean, will turn out great to him or her)

PHASE 2 : Intimacy
It's actually kind of attachment right here. Like both of you are really close and connected to each other. It really grows by spending time with the person you like. Then it grows deeper by telling about every aspects of life to each other. Yeah, it should start with trust and safety, both of you need to build that condition to reach this phase.

PHASE 3 : Commitment
Commitment in this case is.. like, you want to stay connected no matter what. To reach this phase, we should believe each other, not doing some prejudgment thing. Yeah, to really stay together, we need to break some barriers of being hurt and also resolve some issues together. For some reason, it also can be done by marriage or engagement. This phase really takes some risks, seriously!

Those 3 phases are also elaborated by Sternberg into The Triangular Theory of Love, which already described below by this picture:

which type of love do you actually have?

After reading throughout this article, i just realized that actually my love to her is actually still in Phase 2 (or maybe, Phase 1). Because, i just have passion on her, and quite intimacy also. But, it didn't turn well on the other side. So, it is concluded that my love to her is still not a kind of true love. So, to create that situation, i think, i should make her get committed to me.

Or, if we looked at this Triangle above, my love to her is like between Infatuation to Romantic Love. WOW! Infatuation actually means "falling in love"

But, yeah... Time flows, we don't know which one is best for both of us, maybe i will marry her or someone i don't know, or someone i have never thought. I really don't know, but i am always struggling to gain my "True Love" for the better version of me.

Because yeah, TRUE LOVE NEVER FAILS, like my friend said.

Source : http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/05/24/true-love-how-do-you-know/?all=1