Day 20 (yeah.. finally!)
Finally, i almost reached Day 20! It's really crazy! Because in several levels, i felt that the urge approaching me has decreased (but still not significant), but for some reasons, i already feel the benefit has kicked in already. It's awesome!
Anyway, yesterday, i just did Google Hangout with my friends who are also struggling from Porn Addiction, you can see our hangout video here!
The bad thing is i just realized until the hangout ended, that my camera is not on, so you guys can't see my handsome face! OH NO! (it's actually okay though, because i am so humble, i'm afraid you guys will feel aroused by my face, just kidding, it's due to technical mistakes, not my camera's inability to resist my handsomeness, but at least, you can hear my sexy voice)
Most of the discussion is about how we all started this NoFap challenge, and the urges, struggles, passions, hobbies and stuff. Most of all, we did introduction since this is really our first Google Hangout, and i really enjoyed it!! We actually did a hangout starting on 11 am New York Time (it's about 11 pm in Indonesia)
Oh yeah, for sure, let me tell you, that we are all met together by one application, which is called Battle Goal (if you guys don't know, PLEASE DOWNLOAD IT on AppStore or Play Store, IT'S FREE!!)
After this hangout, of course, i went to sleep. But, during my struggle to sleep, i just realized that why i am so open with everyone in the hangout about my Porn Addiction, but i still didn't open it to my friends (i mean, friends i have met face-to-face about it). I mean, seriously, there is only one person i told about my Porn Addiction and he really supports my struggle.
Honestly, i already told my Porn Addiction to one person, but i have told to some of my friends who i knew from The Internet (i think, i have told 4 persons from them, one of them is a girl who i have confessed). It's actually because it's hard for me to trust anyone, especially in my campus. Yeah, my campus life is good, but there are some of my friends who is really talkative, even they can't hold any secret and i really hate it!
Yeah! I remembered last year, i told to one of my close friend that i have a crush on someone who we both knew. And, surprisingly, i was told that my crush knew that i fall in love with her, and she knew it from that close friend. What a bullshit, man! And, at that moment, i knew that there is almost anyone that i can trust to tell mysecrets, this is why i tell some of my friends that i know from Internet.
I think, it's always hard to find trustable friends, but i remembered what my dad told me one day, that
"if your friend talked about someone's badness to you, there could be any possibility that one day, he/she will talk about your badness to another"
And i always believe that my dad is true, and it really is!!
So, until now, less than 10 of my friends (beside the NoFap members) know about my struggle to quit porn addiction. Because i really trust them, and i think, they won't share it to everyone, or at least, if they shared, it won't give really bad effects on me. Even only 2 people know about the existence of this blog.
But, one day, when the time comes, i will tell to everyone about it. Maybe, after reaching Day 25, Day 30, i don't know. I need to consider every aspects and also risks. But, right now, i still find friends who i really trust, because i can't really hold this alone.. I need someone to support me.
And i always believe that my dad is true, and it really is!!
So, until now, less than 10 of my friends (beside the NoFap members) know about my struggle to quit porn addiction. Because i really trust them, and i think, they won't share it to everyone, or at least, if they shared, it won't give really bad effects on me. Even only 2 people know about the existence of this blog.
But, one day, when the time comes, i will tell to everyone about it. Maybe, after reaching Day 25, Day 30, i don't know. I need to consider every aspects and also risks. But, right now, i still find friends who i really trust, because i can't really hold this alone.. I need someone to support me.
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